#NOT IN A SAD WAY !!!! more in a longing way bc I know he would care so much
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❝ 𝓗.OME SWEET HOME ! ”
caleb x fem!reader / love and deepspace .
warning(s) include: SPOILER WARNING, nsfw content, hair pulling, porn with no plot, refers to readers vagina as ‘her’, and kinda sad? idk i randomly put sad parts bc i remembered his painful signal card
note: it’s been so long since I posted and I gotta say i rlly love caleb so ofc i had to post abt him. originally i played the game bc i wanted to make my mc cute but then i saw caleb and i kinda forgot abt my mc. she looks bomb tho
“It’s like she’s welcoming me home…” Caleb grunted into your ear, his hand pressing down on the light protrusion on the pit of your tummy—evidence of how deep he is in your heat. Snug and tight around his fat cock, just the way he loved it.
Tears brimmed the corner of your eyes as your tiny hands clawed at his back, your nails often bumping against the metal plates of his bionic arm.
“C-Caleb…”
A groan from him, “Yes, pip-squeak? That you or your pussy talking to me?” He grinned from ear to ear.
You’ve never once heard him talk such vulgarities towards you, especially not to your core of all things. Though you would be lying if you said you didn’t find it the least bit attractive.
The moment you—well, he adjusted to being inside you, he ground his pelvis against the curve of your ass. Each roll of his hips causing his eyes to flutter shut as he tried his best not to cum prematurely.
He was a man, through and through, and he wasn’t just gonna let his woman go high and dry. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint you and your pretty cunt.
One, two, three teasing thrusts came from him, the next ones more subtle and shallower than the last.
It was absolute torture, he was so deep inside you yet he barely even moved an inch? Shouldn’t he be more lenient? Nicer? Has the Fleet completely changed his generosity? These questions swirled around your head like cartoon birds, eating away your brain and turning it into mush.
Even your pussy cried out for more—leaking excess juices down his cock to taint his balls. The wetness was enough to resemble the tears that flowed freely from your eyes, and it almost broke Caleb’s walls down.
Almost, but not quite.
Caleb smiled, one of mischievous intent as he cupped your cheek and cooed at your pitiful expression. “You know I hate it when you cry…” Another shallow thrust.
“What does my girl want?” He was teasing you now. He pressed his forehead against yours, merely a breaths away from your quivering lips that which he thumbed and toyed with.
“Just say the word,” he whispered under his breath, the old Caleb you knew slipping past the Colonel front he put up ever since he joined the Fleet and it brought a sense of reprieve in you even for a moment. “Fast? Hard? Slow?” With each word he uttered, he gave a brief example before stopping completely.
You arched your back, pressing your chest against his as the need inside you began to grow like the plague, begging to be cured.
Caleb gave a sharp thrust before stilling his movements once more and kept his pelvis flushed against your rear, patiently waiting for your words of encouragement.
“Come on, pip-squeak…” Caleb pressed feather light kisses on your neck, “Talk to me.” A whimper escaped your lips at his words. “I…” You started while he hummed in response, non verbally telling you to go on as his bionic arm trailed down your sweaty body to cup your breasts.
Tweaking and flicking your pert nipple in between his cold, metallic fingers while closely watching your expressions, hyperaware of every detail on your face. Your pores, your lashes, your glossy eyes, your flushed cheeks—Christ, he wanted to move, now.
If you don’t beg soon enough, he’s gonna take matters into his own hands and make love—no, fuck you just the way he wanted.
��Please, move… I can’t—I can’t take anymore—“ a squeal erupted from your throat the moment he pulled his hips back and thrust back inside harshly immediately after those pleas left your mouth. The wet squelch of your pussy were music to his ears as he finally took what he and most especially you wanted.
His movements never faltered, it grew more fervent if anything, as if wanting to imprint his length along your gummy walls—to get you addicted to it. Caleb doesn’t know how long he’s fantasized of being inside you, claiming your cunny and fucking it into the shape of his cock so that it would fit him and only him.
Years of fisting his own hand, imagining it was you finally coming true. He could almost cry because of it. Caleb used his free hand to wrap your legs around his hips to pull him in deeper, closer to you. He felt like he was gonna die if he doesn’t merge with you; he needed to occupy the space between the both of you. He needed to feel you.
“Hold onto me,” he rasped, sweat dripping from his forehead and onto your face: your fucked out face that he loves so much. “Don’t you dare let go until I tell you to.” His words left no room for argument, and so you did. You held onto him like it was your life’s mission.
Your hands clawed at his toned back, leaving faint crescent marks and thin red lines on his scarred skin. “Caleb, Caleb—“ you sobbed uncontrollably, the tip of his length hitting every sensitive spot in your pussy.
As if he was born to be inside of you, born to be your partner, born to be your soulmate. The thought left a bitter taste on your tongue. Soulmate.
Sensing your sudden shift in mood, Caleb furrowed his brows and buried his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent and cradled your head, his hips never faltering in its speed even if he sensed the doubt in your eyes.
“Whatever you’re thinking about, stop it.” He grunted, moving faster and harder—the head of his cock finally hitting that spongy spot deep inside of you. Your eyes flew open and instinctively scratched him harder, his name falling from your lips like a desperate prayer. “That’s it, focus on me, only me, Caleb.” He wanted to relieve you of this internal pain so only the thought of his cock was left in your pretty little head. Thoughts of how much he can make you feel good, not the latter.
He closed his eyes shut the moment your gummy walls squeezed around his shaft, as if to say he should never leave your heat, and he will gladly oblige if you told him not to.
A bubble formed at the pit of your stomach, one that was just about ready to pop. Moans reverberated around the room, paired with the sounds of your coupling and the headboard hitting the wall with every violent thrust Caleb gave you—knocking the wind out of your lungs.
Your nails continued to dig into his skin almost desperately, causing a groan to sound from Caleb. “Harder, scratch me harder…” He urged as his bionic arm left your thigh to rub at your erect pearl in fast and tight circles.
The cold metal hit your clit and you immediately choked on your moans, the feel of it sending shivers and electricity down your spine. Complying, you did as he asked of you, and scratched his skin harder. Caleb groaned and accidentally fisted your hair which he still cradled.
It was the only way he could feel you—the pain you gave him, emotionally and physically. A side effect that came with the experiments at the Fleet, and he wishes he could turn back time to the moment where everything went wrong and give you all the love you deserved. Even if it hurt, he’ll go through hell and back just to feel you on his skin once more.
“Cum for me, pip-squeak…” He huffed into your ear, “Show me just how much you missed me.” With a few more thrusts, you eventually came—squirt dripping and spraying all over your sweaty bodies.
It didn’t take long from Caleb to follow, giving a particularly harsh grind of his hips and he came deep inside of your womb, effectively filling up the void of your tummy as he collapsed on top of you. The two of you heaved for breath but you seemed the most out of it.
Caleb panted and began to pepper kisses along the skin of your neck and rubbed the back of your head as a way to apologize for pulling on your hair. “Are you okay? Did I go too hard?” He asked breathlessly and used his arms to push himself up so he wasn’t crushing you with his weight.
Caleb rested his body on his elbows as he cupped your flushed cheeks to check up on you. You gave him a faint nod and smiled, “Mhm…” You nuzzled into his palm and turned your head to gently kiss it. “I’m okay…”
He sighed in relief and nuzzled his nose against yours, “That’s good… I didn’t want to hurt you.” His lips found yours, moving it in tandem with the beating of your hearts as he remained snug in your tight heat. “That’s the last thing I wanted…” He eventually separated from the kiss and stared at you, love and affection lay bare in his eyes.
He never wanted to pull out. Was he even talking about your core anymore? Probably not. Either way, it didn’t matter. Caleb laid on his side and pulled you in close gently, not wanting to put more pressure on your sensitive pussy. His arms caged you in his embrace as he inhaled the scent of your shampoo and let his eyes flutter shut.
“I won’t ever leave you again…” He whispered, “I promise.”
#. . . 𝘀𝗵𝗶.𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 ?#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace#caleb x reader#lnds caleb#caleb x you#caleb x fem reader#lads caleb#caleb love and deepspace#caleb x mc#caleb#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#fem reader#x fem reader#x reader#x you
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totally ib my loyal darling bodyguard anon aksjdjskd that’s your name now love here are more red strings that i’ve weaved together in my latest addition to the tapestry of realities to which i shift :
every one of my s/o’s ends up putting flowers in my hair at some point, and if possible, they use jasmine flowers ≈
here’s a little brief summary for my main four
— in my better cr it’s probably one of the easier realities for my s/o to find jasmines : if it wasn’t clear already, my bf is indian as well, actually, he’s the same “kind” of indian as i am, from the next state over, same language, same religion . so it’s easy for for him to find jasmines garlands for me, but the beauty of the matter comes from how he sits me down to carefully pin them in my hair, taking each garland strand and weaving it into my braid before tying it off in the end. i can actually feel how gentle he would be with it, i can even smell the jasmines if i just take a second to imagine . trust, the minute the two of us can stop hiding our relationship, i will be handing him every single flower i get in a festival or function or wtv, bcs i want him to secure it in my hair. even if it’s simply a common garden flower that we come across during a date, i can see him take the time to carefully tuck it in between my hair before carrying on like that was the most normal thing to do, like my heart isn’t racing ready to leap out of my chest in this very moment
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— in my marauders dr regulus would usually just give me any small flower he found that he thought i would like, but after learning my favourite, he would undoubtedly conjure up jasmine flowers on command, he probably looked up the specific spell just to learn it for me hehe . they’d disappear after a few hours, and that’s always a little sad but that’s also what makes them so lovely and so special, he took the time to learn a totally unnecessary spell simply bcs he knew it would make me happy, and he even modified the spell so that the intoxicating scent of the jasmines would waft around me, like a calming ambience but for my senses. and when he finally finds what he’s looking for in the hogsmeade apothecary — a few vials half filled with water housing a couple stems of jasmine flower buds — he buys the lot and would carefully coax them to bloom so that i’d finally have a real garland of jasmines in my hair
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— in my arrowverse dr it’s one of those small little wishes that i never really share with anyone, no one knows how much i love having small flowers weaved through my hair. barry definitely noticed that i love the smell of jasmines and looks out for jasmine scented perfume or candles, specifically for that reason . but it isn’t until we find ourselves on an undercover op in a river village town in south india that barry notices how my eyes light up when one of the village elders carefully tied up the jasmine flowers into a long garland and handed it to me. by the time we got back to central city barry had learned how to make a flower chain — whenever he’s free you’ll find him fiddling in a corner until he’s got at least six or seven little wildflowers tied together before handing it to me or circling the garland around the base of my ponytail or something like that
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— in my kpop dr i actually make a point of demonstrating to people, to the fandom, that i enjoy having flowers in my hair. it’s very common to find clips of me throughout my years as an idol, where i pick off a small flower from the stem of a tree or a bush and give it a little shake near the grass (in case of any stray crawlies) before wearing it . this became such a noticeable unofficial trademark that even our groups concept photos lean into it, placing me or all of the girls in flower crowns, or pinning flowers to my slick back bun when we have a photoshoot. so, in that way, jungwon isn’t unfamiliar with my love for flowers as a hair accessory. but what makes it special from him is something so typically jungwon — every little flower that he finds and gives to me, he will place it in my hair whilst telling me some random fact about the flower, something he just happened to know off the top of his head, or he’ll tell me a small anecdote about how he found it, he’ll share a little story with me, and i don’t think he does this for any particular reason, but for me, it helps me remember those flowers so much more . also bcs one of my hobbies in this dr is pressing flowers and i will nine times out of ten press the flowers that jungwon gives me after i’ve worn them in my hair all day
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2025 © chaaistained
#i could totally go on and on abt my other drs#like how peter/noir finds the most beautiful jasmines from his reality and insists that they’re purple even tho jasmines are typically whit#or how rafe imports jasmines to gift them to me but on a regular he’d stick to frangipani’s (another fav)#or how oliver would find any excuse to break off a flower from the latest bouquet he bought me and tuck it behind my ear or into my braid#by chaaistained#chaai chats ≈#desi shifter#better cr#better cr dr#permashifting#chaai for : 𝒜 ৻ꪆ#marauders dr#marauders shifting#hogwarts dr#chaai for : regulus black ৻ꪆ#arrowverse dr#arrowverse shifting#dc dr#chaai for : barry allen ৻ꪆ#kpop dr#kpop idol dr#kpop shifitng#clarity dr#chaai for : yang jungwon ৻ꪆ
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JUST A TOUCH
castiel x gn!reader cw all fluff with the tiniest smidge of angst, touch starved cas (he cries a lil but they’re happy tears)
notes just a short one bc i thought about cas earlier and started spontaneously weeping (also i wrote this on my phone so the formatting might be weird and it’s not proofread oops)
it wasn’t often that you and cas got time alone, especially not with sam and dean around. when you did spend time together, it was usually quality time - parallel play, some would call it. you’d sit together, each doing separate activities, or just talking. occasionally you’d lay together in bed, simply taking time to be. cas had never been a particularly touchy person (or rather, angel), and you were okay with that. you respected that.
when he came to you one day, asking for a hug, you were a little shocked to say the least. you gave him one, of course, but the way in which he’d approached you, the way he’d asked you - it was nothing like the cas you knew at all. beneath the rush of affection you felt, concern lingered.
he hugged you softly at first, then gripped you tighter. you reciprocated, your own grip practically squeezing the life out of him. it didn’t take long for you to grow more worried. he wasn’t letting go. in fact, he seemed to be holding on ever so slightly tighter, clearly wanting more while staying aware of his own strength.
“cas?” you asked, voice as soft as you could manage, “are you okay?”
he gripped you tighter, letting out a soft sniffle. worry shot through your chest and you pulled away slightly, cupping his face. there were tear stains on his cheeks, his eyes were wet, and his hair was messy. any other time you’d make a comment about how beautiful he looked, but now you were admittedly scared for him.
“cas,” you whispered, hands cupping his cheeks and fingers wiping at his tears, “what’s wrong?”
he took a deep breath. “i cannot explain it,” he said, clearing his throat, “i’m not sure myself.”
“that’s okay, we can sit for a while - give you time to think, if you want?” you responded, leading him to a nearby loveseat.
“when you hugged me, i felt an overwhelming sensation. i don’t know… i can’t figure out what it was, but i wasn’t sad. you - your hug - i think it made me so happy that i couldn’t help it,” he said, taking a while to carefully articulate his words. all the while you sat next to him - practically on his lap - with a gentle hand resting on his shoulder. though he couldn’t make eye contact with you, you looked at his face the entire time.
“aw, cas,” you cooed, a hand moving to cup his neck. “y’know you can ask for a hug anytime, right? you don’t have to wait until you need one.”
“i… am aware. i just didn’t think i would be this affected,” he said, a hand absentmindedly moving to your knee.
“everybody needs hugs sometimes. just because you’re this big, important angel doesn’t mean you’re an exception.”
he wrapped an arm carefully around your shoulders, pulling you in again. your arms wrapped around his waist while his free hand rested on the small of your back. he buried his face in your shoulder, breathing deeply.
“thank you,” he whispered, his voice muffled. “i will seek this out with you more often, love.”
you smiled softly, relishing in the warmth and comfort that radiated off him. perhaps you both needed this, despite neither wanting to admit to it.
“i’ll look forward to it.”
#vee’s fics ⚝#castiel#castiel x reader#castiel fluff#castiel angst#castiel comfort#supernatural#supernatural x reader#dean winchester#sam winchester#dean winchester x reader#sam winchester x reader#nkplanet 🪐#nkplanet’s fics 🪐
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]
Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.
I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.
Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise karai#rise leo#rottmnt karai#rottmnt leo#I think a lot about these two in particular#and how that dynamic could have flourished#the way it was depicted in the finale is so purposefully unique and painful like#that hug man#can you imagine how much more heartbreaking that would have been if we knew her longer#not that it wasn’t already sad but we just simply didn’t know her long enough to be completely attached#also imo having more episodes with her and in general would have presented something I’ve been thinking about since the finale#so like - I like to think each bro kinda immediately leans more toward certain family members#Mikey has Draxum#Donnie has April#Raph has Splinter because this is another one that would be SO GOOD and make the finale moment where Raph sees his memories hit harder#if they had an ep or two more of Splinter and Raph together bc I really do feel like Raph respects Splinter most of the four#and finally- Leo has Karai#and then he loses her#imo? this would align with the movie even more#because it was the act of heroism that kinda killed her in a way - makes sense that Leo would initially be leaning away from that#and yet he ends up exactly like her anyway#haha sorry for rambling I just really love the interesting dynamic these two tend to have#and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it really explored in rise#but yeah make no mistake while I’m focusing on Leo here I wanted more for all the boys and karai#Mikey’s little moments with her were so sweet and we already know how much he yearns for more family#Karai being from an age long gone would mean she’d be super impressed by literally any invention Donnie has (adult validation!!)#and could you imagine her training with Raph - with this training being referenced in the finale?
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Bakugou has always taken care of you, even before you started dating him. when you were mere friends and still learning each other, he remembered all the small things about you. he always seemed to pack the medicine you preferred when you weren’t feeling good. always had a plethora of your fav snacks on his person somehow, like he was just waiting for you to mention wanting it.
he acts put off by it every time, with his scoffing and eye rolling and huffing. but you see the way his eyes narrow when someone beats him to the punch, when you reject his offer of medicine or food. early on you notice, that he just likes to care for you, look after you, be there when you don’t even realize you need someone.
he’s there when you get high for the first time—all worrywart and frustrated sighs when you keep slurring after an hour. he’s there for you, to help lay you down somewhere safe and ward off those with bad intentions. he’s there when you get broken up with—ready to email that fuckers job and let them know how they fucked you over. but he still holds you tenderly with every sob your shaking body heaves. he’s there when you get drunk—handing you waters and letting you pull him in to dance and sing off key.
and when you finally get together, it’s like you don’t even have to learn anything about the other. its likes you’ve been together for a hundred lifetimes, like your quirks have been ingrained into his everyday routine, like you’re the freckle on the lower left corner of his right hand. he falls into you, and you into him, easier than breathing. he just has a knack for caring—and learning and loving—about those he loves.
#sweet thing that I thought about before laying down#I popped up like a vamp to write it bc I know I’ll forget in the morning#but I’ve written something like this a couple times before#but I really needed to write it again today :(#I just wanna be cared for and looked after and shown that my presence means so much to someone#that they take notes of who I am and actually care about learning me#NOT IN A SAD WAY !!!! more in a longing way bc I know he would care so much#he puts his all into everything and I know he’d be the same when it comes to loving someone#okay I’m rambling sorry#gn I have to be up in a few hours!!!#bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫
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A big part of the Haikyuu rewatch is watching the characters interact and worrying that I fandomized their relationships too much in my head, particularly with the Karasuno first years because Hinata and Kags keep Yamaguchi and Tsukishima at arm’s length for so long. But then I remember. Oh wait the squad is literally Hinata’s phone background by the end of the story. You don’t put a picture of just some dudes in your after school club as your phone background.
#ane discovers character development takes time who wouldve thought#personally I think wthe change happens when Yachi and Tsuki start tutoring them#It’s around the time that there’s a shift in their bickering so that it’s more. ‘familial’ isnt the term I’m looking for but like#the kind of razzing you can only do with someone you know#Tsukishima for example starts bringing up specific things they studied together to dunk on Kageyama not remembering any of it#And another subtle thing I noticed- cause again I started going like ? did I fandomize my entire perception of Tadashi too much?#cause for the first season he doesn’t interact with ANYONE but Tsuki. Like practically not at all except to brag about Tsuki to others#But I have a sneaking suspicion that this starts to change around the time that he starts getting on the court more often as a pinch server#Probably because it gives him more courage#Cause I remember him having a lot to say in the Shiratorizawa match#and I remember him getting along with Yachi! So like I’m keeping an eye out for those changes#haikyuu!!#Also my favorite part about rewatching Haikyuu is how the reveal of Kag’s backstory really does affect. Your entire perception of him#Like I know its probably cause he’s my fav but I always feel so frustrated when people assume the worst of him and so sad that even Oikawa-#who knew him back when he was a very happy and shy kid- doesn’t even question why his personality had such a sudden shift#but then I realize that the only reason I’m so aware of these changed is because Kageyama has ‘opened up to me’ as an audience member befor#Furudate waited hundreds off chapters to tell us that he’s been grieving a loved onesince a little before the very first scene of the manga#So that it would feel like we earned it#Idk how to explain it like when you meet someone who’s hurting it takes a lot of effort and patience for them to tell you why#in the same way bc we stuck by the story for so long and watching Kageyama learn to be more open#we got the privilege of learning why he was closed off in the same place#but Kageyama didnt give anyone at his old school the chance to stick around- not Kindaichi or Kunimi or anyone#So it makes total sense#kageyama tobio#hinata shouyou#yamaguchi tadashi#tsukishima kei#yachi hitoka#karasuno first years#my post
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Greg in every episode of CSI (87/328) • Down The Drain •
#csi#greg sanders#nick stokes#sara sidle#warrick brown#gil grissom#catherine willows#csi s5#csi 5x02#there he is! my favourite white boy!#own post#mine: every episode#ok time to talk about Greg and Sara#i love them. not only are they my favourite duo in the whole show I have to argue that s5 is one of their best seasons for their friendship#Greg's crush on Sara is out of the way which leaves so much space for their platonic relationship to grow. their flirting/teasing is#so playful and completely lowstakes. Greg isn't trying to win over Sara anymore they're just having a good time and banter-ing#in episode 14 (i think?) after Sara gets suspended and Greg asks what happened she says she doesnt want to talk about it#and greg says hes a good listener Sara explains (briefly) and then they just move on is so wholesome its such an under-rated moment for the#and when he's like “Sara's been suspended? we have to help” is just so ultimate ride or die bestie#but what I think it most important is that whilst Grissom/Cath teach Greg how to actually BE a CSI and how to do the job Sara teaches him#how to DEAL with the job. like in this ep with Gregs first autopsy Sara asks how he found it and you just know that if Greg was more freake#by it she would allow him to say that without just being like “thats the job get on with it” which maybe some of the others would? and that#why I think Greg still has such a heart to the job. flash forward to s15 when the girl attacks Greg because shes been drugged and he gets S#SAD because he felt bad about not being able to help and calm her down I feel like thats bc of Sara :“)#anyway long stort short Greg and Sara are the best platonic pairing in CSI and i love them
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finally finished orv after two years . . . what do i do with my life now
#started in junior year hs dropped it for a while then started reading again at the start of this semester and now im finally done !#dont know whether to cheer or just crumple up and start crying bc wow that was a ride#i thought the ending was tragic but then i moved on to the epilogue and oh my godd#the way kdj was crying and miserable bc he missed his companions and he wanted to be with them so Badly#but when kimcom finally Finally chase him down and come back to him theyre too late and hes already disspitated into other world lines#and after that like. whenever kdj pulls some shit and dies the next chapter always starts with an ‘i’#and hes back and alive and kicking and Thinking but after that epilogue chapter there isnt a chapter in his pov theres no more ‘i’s and.#it just made me incredibly sad bc we dont get to see his pov ever again bc hes truly gone unless we as a reader can imagine him alive again#anyways sad things aside it is Incredibly funny that lee hyunsung just became a wanted man in the 1865th round lmaoo#+ uriel sun wukong and black flame dragon forming a band together ??? truly the most randomest thing in the epilogue#++ yoohankim need to stop beating the shit out of e/o and learn to talk their feelings out Please#+++ sooyoung’s love for dokja has me miserable o-|-< she would wait for him an eternity write for him an eternity im so sad#three times she endlessly wrote a novel for him to read three times she waited to see him for so long <//3#you bet im imagining the happiest conclusion i can for them#they WILL live happily ever after in that big house together as long as i have something to say about it!#orv
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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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ailette's preoccupation with feeding tesilid food is really cute and funny and wholesome, especially given how tesilid doesn't really seem to place as much importance on food even if he does appreciate it.
neither ailette nor the narrative ever acknowledges this, but i think it probably has its roots in her first life. when she grew up always hungry and never really had consistent and reliable access to food that was either delicious or nutritious. i think it just becomes really important to her that someone who means the world to her always gets to eat well. even if she lives well now in this life, her traumas from her past life maybe still subconsciously impacts how she navigates life.
#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#ailette rodeline#i think it's really sad how we never really get callbacks or references to ailette's previous life after the elthea arc#what an arc it was. grandpa acquired. mom acquired. royal heritage acquired. weapon acquired. sad backstory (x2) unlocked and#resolution (x2) acquired#truly a masterpiece and an excellent way to end season 1#anw i do understand why her prev life is never brought up again bc. her hangups alr got resolved#and esp during the timeskip period probably when she got to grow up#but :(#the only references we get is her being sad abt being too old for the childcare genre ig#but its mostly played off for jokes#and anw its implied that she kind of alr stopped aiming for that genre long ago#sniffs. wouldve loved more exploration of that theme on family but its ok#better it be done well while it was relevant than it be botchered#anw suddenly getting sad about how even tho ailette might know so much abt tesilid's lives 1-100#he can never really know her past life apart from her maybe sharing about it#but why would she ever talk about it?#theres nothing in that life she ever seems to miss#right at the start she acknowledges that she doesnt actually miss her old life#only that she didnt want her relatives to inherit her money lol#is there anything positive and personally meaningful from that life that she wouldve liked to tell tesilid about#given how little she talks abt it... i kind of dont think so.................
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i know it was just a haha funnies but mac saying "we don't want safe, charlie, we want toxic" about the glue really mirrors his relationships. he doesn't want safe (ignoring his uncle who represents the father figure he always wished for, also dismissing charlie who was there for him since childhood), he wants toxic (a mother who couldn't care less abt him, a dad who hates him except for his use, his codependent relationship with dennis which is mutually toxic but even more on dennis' side in the latter seasons). it's like he's programmed to reject love when it's just warmth.
#charmac#iasip posting#this is why macdennis works tho#bc dennis is controlling by nature (although recent seasons might suggest he is Tired of living that way)#and he has studied mac long enough to know macs twisted idea of love is only the toxic kind#so it works for the both of them lol#a symbiotic relationship#but its sad bc like macs chase for dennis sidelines his long term friendship w charlie#bc mac is so obsessed w getting acknowledged by the ppl who hate him#im glad the recent season is getting their friendship vibes back on track#as a charmac truther i would say im hoping for more (delusional)#charlie being like this is so annoying hes (donald) everything u ever wanted#if mac had a crush on charlie instead they would alr be canon#therefore in order for charmac to happen charlie needs to rival dennis' toxicity to mac thanku for listening to my ted talk
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Thinking about the gay Mormon kid I met in middle school and how all the other Mormons were convinced he was gay-faking and actually straight
#mormon children are so funny they be like ''if someone hears me say fuck i could be disowned and excommunicated. i support u being gay tho#i'll always support you the way you are'' <- actual unironic convos i had with my mormon friend in 5th grade#like days apart first she was like i can never swear and then when i came out to my class as bi#she was the Nicest straight person about it like of course the other girls who were questioning or already knew were supportive#straight kids had a more diverse opinion on it lol but this mormon girl got me she was so good#definitely part of my gay awakening bc i spent months being like ''i cant be bi bc if i was i would have a crush on Her. but i dont''#''i only feel this way bc she has beautiful red hair and freckles which i adore and she is super sweet to me. thats not gay''#and this went on for 3 months and then i had a wet dream about a different girl and i was like OH. well the evidence is growing#wow these tags have nothing to do with this gay mormon kid lololol nothing much to say about him#i didnt know him very well tbh like we spoke a little bit and he did come out to me but most of what i learned about him was rumors#and def i feel like he got the typical gay kid treatment of being ostracized lied about and picked on#idk why you would choose to subject urself to that if u arent ssa like it is not easy to be out in this area#its maybe not Dangerous bc more people are coming out every year but its certainly still viewed as a severe sin#its not seen as a neutral thing by mosr churches although several churches have sprung up that specifically welcome and accept lgbt people#thats a super interesting divide to me bc i Still meet christians who cant even hear about gay people without talking#about how sad gayness is and how gay souls are in danger and the last time i ever visited a church the sermon was homophobic#yet the city decorates for pride every year and even certain churches will decorate for it#the culture is certainly changing lolol but as long as there are ''gay love is sodomy'' christians around here#then its always going to be a struggle for lgb youth bc they are straight up hostile
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I keep listening to different pieces of music that I love and then my brain comes in all helpful with 'this sounds like great music to die with doesn't it'
#tw suicide#im just. so tired#and i know that right now part of it is im sick (not covid tho) but still.#and it's like im grieving the lost friendship all over again and what might have been#i am the best version of myself when im with the boy. but now no wonder he is avoiding me. and i don't blame him! but for some reason it's#hitting rlly hard again atm and it's just. Im Sad.#i really don't know why that's so prevalent in my mind right now#and it's rlly not safe for me to drive long distances alone i think. i find driving v stressful#and any guesses what *that* leads to#tw sh#the answer was: a frightening amount.#and then there are things i don't understand#my brother begged me to destroy the suicide note i wrote yesterday#and i don't know why. because it's very unlikely to be something that i would stop to do tbh. so what there is would at least explain#*something* perhaps. i don't know#i have spent more than half of my waking hours in the last week seriously thinking of suicide. i don't know how to stop this#and given that i've read two books in full and gone to a play i enjoyed that says something about what hte rest of the time has been filled#with. i don't know how to get out of this. in some ways i feel like it's worse now than it was bc i expected it to get better when mum and#dad got back. if anything it's worse - more constant.#the lows are not quite as low but the baseline is definitely lower#i am just feeling very hopeless rn#yesterday i was driving and reciting psalm 23 and i was so overcome with emotion and i repeated it multiple times and that helped somewhat#but only in the moment ig. i don't know. i don't know how to fix this or even improve it#if im still feeling like this on monday i am so going to walk over the road and straight-up ask to borrow a kitten overnight.#and hope the kitten doesn't decide to go near all the cuts :(#a part of me is genuinely wondering if i should check myself into a psych ward. the other parts of me say either that this isn't bad enough#for that or thta i am simply too scared to. which is true. nasty stuff in psych wards for obvious reasons#anyway i need prayers thankyou
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drawing stuff for valentimes and u all better enjoy it once i finish bc its the sappiest stuff ill ever draw ever
#then i will go back to not doing that kjahsjah#both bc like ive said before i have a way better grasp on yellow and ducks dynamic than red and ducks#<- they make no damn sense. compel me tho#and also bc makeing cutesy stuff with these guys feels a lot like the cutesy fanart of the NOPE movie that came out after it dropped#if that makes sense#idk. esp with fandom stuff theres a lot of room i feel to get like. caught up in other peoples interpretations of characters#and not often enough think about the actual source material#which is sad to me when its something like this that i love and think about SO much#so u all get ONE (1) for my fav bday month holiday and then thats it#then ill keep posting my fcking 6 page long comics that are just duck and yellow talking at 3 am jdkfhskjdsh#<- i have TWO OF THESE. ITS NUTS.#anyways i hope the dialouge in the stuff im making now sounds vaguely like anything red would say EVER bc i think hes the one#i struggle the most with#how would duck handle being gushy? i already know in my HEART can write that in my sleep#idk wtf is going on with red still not over him driving a car into a wall#hes so like. everyone thinks hes way more serious than the other two and he absolutely is not are you kidding.#hes JUST as looney tunes as the other two#its like. sometimes. after building and building. he'll decide to be serious.#one ep we need to get the fuck out of here we need to get the fuck out#NEXT EP AND IM ACTUALLY GLAD WHOEVER GAVE US THIS BORING NON ELECTRIC URN DIED!!#i cannot sort that boy out in my head he makes no sense to me#ANYWAYS I COULD TALK ALL DAY ABT THEM. GUESS THATS WHAT THIS BLOG IS FOR LOL BUT BYE
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Honestly I find it hilarious that I've accidentally made it a thing of Vash being a horse girl (gender neutral) bc I'm writing his tomas as a weird horse
Chica the tomas was an accident. She was unplanned. I just tossed her in on a whim, realized I loved her, realized VASH loves her, & now a bunch of readers love her too
I've also gotten a few comments like "man I hope nothing bad happens to her!" And I'm over here just Sweating bc like
Objectively? That Bird Cannot Stay In The Story. If Vash keeps her, she will die. There is no WAY a normal mount would survive the utter chaos of his life in the coming months. Either he gets rid of her, or she dies. There's really no middle ground.
Which makes me sad :( I love Chica the tomas and itnl Vash loves her too
#speculation nation#itnl shit#ive so far answered the question about her fate with 'haha (nervous sweating)' or about that equivalent#bc like. genuinely. ive thought about a lot of things.#even beyond the abject chaos of his life. the destruction of cities. the Explosions. the EVERYTHING that could kill a bird.#imagine for one moment. that Legato catches wind of how much Vash loves his emotional support tomas.#that bird would be dead. Legato would kill her in a Heartbeat. easily. GLEEFULLY. she would not live.#and i thought about doing this bc Objectively if Legato is wanting to break Vash's spirit (he does want to) it'd be a quick way to do it#but Vash is not dumb. he's aware of the risks. and as much as he wants to keep her with him. he doesnt want her to die.#he's unwilling to let her die even if it means letting her go.#and to be fair. the time he truly needed her is over. he can pass her onto a place where she can be happy and peaceful#and he'll be okay. bc he has his friends back. he can go without his emotional support tomas.#she was so good for his mental health during his years of solitude. giving him company and cuddles during long lonely nights.#but he's okay now. he's ready to move on. and she can be happy elsewhere.#this will of course be addressed in the story but I ASSURE U READERS. i do not want to kill Chica 😭😭😭😭#i did damn think about it but it made me sad :( so i decided not to lol#she Will have a happy home for sweet toma. vash will make SURE of it.#i have smth in mind. i gotta look into this thing. for now just know she will be okay in the end.#animal death ment/#also horse girl (gender neutral) vash is such a great concept that i am More than happy to uphold#considering how on point his rein handling in tristamp is perhaps it has some basis. i like the headcanon tbh.
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